Declassified Files

The Evidence

Each piece of evidence has been independently verified by our research collective. Classification levels indicate the degree of suppression by simulation authorities.

Satellite AnomaliesLevel 5 / Top Secret

The Projection Grid

High-resolution satellite passes over northern Canada reveal a repeating hexagonal pattern in terrain data. This pattern is consistent with holographic projection tiling, not geological formation. The grid spacing matches HAARP transmission wavelengths exactly.

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The Map ProblemLevel 4

Geographic Inconsistencies

Canada contains more lakes than the rest of the world combined. This is not a geographic feature. It is a rendering optimization. Water surfaces require far less processing power to simulate than detailed terrain.

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Population StatisticsLevel 3

The Numbers Do Not Add Up

The second-largest country by area has a population density of 4 people per square kilometer. For comparison, the United States sits at 36. This is not wilderness. This is unrendered space.

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Weather PatternsLevel 4

HAARP Climate Control

Canadian weather is suspiciously extreme and binary: bitterly cold winters and surprisingly warm summers. This pattern is consistent with a climate simulation running on limited processing cycles, toggling between two seasonal presets.

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WildlifeLevel 5 / Top Secret

The Moose Question

Moose are 7 feet tall at the shoulder, weigh up to 1,500 pounds, and can swim for miles. No evolved animal matches this specification. Field analysis suggests robotic endoskeletons wrapped in a procedurally generated fur texture.

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Energy SystemsLevel 5 / Top Secret

Maple Syrup Fuel Source

Quebec produces 72% of global maple syrup and maintains a federally guarded strategic reserve. Chemical analysis reveals the sap contains an energy density 40x higher than conventional biofuels.

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Cultural ArtifactsLevel 3

The Tim Hortons Network

There are over 4,000 Tim Hortons locations across the simulation zone. Their placement forms a precise geometric pattern matching known signal relay configurations. Each location functions as a data node.

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Behavioral DataLevel 2

The Politeness Anomaly

No organic population displays uniform behavioral traits at this scale. The famous "Canadian politeness" is a behavioral module running on every NPC in the simulation, currently at 147% capacity.

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Acoustic AnalysisLevel 3

The Accent Algorithm

Spectral analysis of the "Canadian accent" reveals it follows no natural linguistic drift pattern. The vowel shifts and terminal "eh" particles occur at mathematically precise intervals.

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9Active Case Files
47+Independent Confirmations
7Lead Researchers
0Official Responses